Burning Red
by ClockworkAngel19
Summary: Tempers flare and feelings are trying to be re-built between Sophie and Jacob. Will Bella and the wolf deal be enough to break them apart, or will they decide to embark on this together?
1. Chapter 1

He was waiting for me when Leah dropped me off at my place. He looked up only when he heard the car come to a halt. He was sitting on the front steps of our porch, his elbows against his knees and looking as lost as a puppy separated from its mother. Leah looked at him for one long moment before turning her gaze to me, her expression turning pleading.

"Talk to him, please" she begged for the thousandth time, it seemed. "He's your best friend above all and he needs you right now. Don't turn your back to him. Bella's already done that. And God knows how much _you_want to take him back"

Without giving her a proper reply, I threw the door open and stepped out in the chilled afternoon breeze. A raindrop landed on the pavement next to my shoe as I slipped the strap of my purse over my shoulder. With a rumble of the engine, Leah's car sped off and I was left alone with him. And when his onyx eyes found mine, it all came rushing back to the forefront of my mind, making my heart tighten almost painfully in my chest and my eyes sting with unshed tears. In my ear, my iPod kept on playing the same melancholic music as before.

_And does he notice my feelings for him?__  
><em>_And will he see how much he means to me?__  
><em>_I think it's not to be…_

He and I have been friends since we were in kindergarten. I've watched him grow from a tall, lanky child to a tall, muscular young man. I know everything and anything about him, even the way he thinks; most of the times I can even guess his thoughts. I know what makes him happy, what angers him, what makes him melancholic and what makes his eyes light up enthusiastically.I know he prefers hiking and fixing cars to going out to parties. I know he's allergic to shrimp and that when his mom died when he was two he spent an entire day crying, clutching a teddy bear she had made for him. I know he keeps a photo of Sarah in the first drawer of his bedside table and that he takes it out and look at it when he misses her. I know he loves cliff diving with his friends and he's completely in love with my mom's chocolate chip pancakes. I know his favorite ice cream flavor is blueberry and he likes cupcakes. I know all his favorite bands, his favorite TV series, his favorite movies growing up.

In return he knows everything about me. He's watched me grow from a chubby petite girl with pigtails to a tall, curvy young woman. He knows everything and anything about me, even the way _I_ think; he can tell exactly what I'm thinking every waking moment of the day. He knows what can put a smile on my face, what can make me lose my cool, what can make me break down and cry and what can make me as excited as a child in Christmas morning. He knows my favorite song is _What you mean to me_by Sterling Knight, my favorite color is bubblegum pink, my favorite boy band is Big Time Rush, my favorite movie is _The Avengers_ and that my favorite show growing up was _My life as a teenage robot_ and now it's _Harry's Law_. He knows I'd rather stay at home and play my guitar than go to sleepovers and parties. He knows I hate spinach and that when my dad left my mom when I was twelve, I attempted to slice my wrists. He found me in time and took me to the hospital, somehow managing to cover for me, even then. He knows I haven't talked to my dad since because I'm afraid I'll start crying all over again. He knows I keep a photo from my parents' wedding that I saved from mom in my diary. He knows I enjoy long walks at the beach and I love chocolate in any and every form. He knows my favorite ice cream flavor is cookies and cream and I like baking.

We used to spend every day together. I remember we'd pick up our backpacks every weekend and go hiking in the forest, just the two of us. But everything changed when Isabella Swan, Chief Charlie Swan's daughter returned to Forks for unknown to me reasons. The change in him was visible to all of us; my brother, Embry, Quil, Leah, Seth… even his dad noticed though Billy couldn't have been happier that his only son was so obviously falling for his best friend's daughter. It was no secret that the two old men secretly hoped for the children to marry someday. The only thing that stood between them and the fulfillment of that plan was Bella's new boyfriend, Edward Cullen. They rejoiced when he packed up and left shortly after Bella's birthday; in fact, they were so happy they threw a giant bonfire party at the beach. I heard Bella was devastated though. And when she snapped out of the zombie-like state she was in, she came for Jacob.

He was too in love with her to see that she was merely toying with him. I saw it, though, and confessed everything to Leah who in return warned the others to keep an eye out for him. But he wouldn't listen. He couldn't see that while he'd take a bullet for her and die a happy man, she was just waiting for Edward to return to her, because she was so obsessed with him that no one else existed. But she needed Jacob for some reason and for that; she took him away from all of us. He spent less and less time with the others and he avoided me altogether at some point. I stopped trying to contact him after he had made Billy lie to me about his whereabouts.

It had opened a giant hole in my heart. I missed having someone to confide in, especially when my dad all of a sudden called home and asked for me. I wanted so badly to talk to Jacob about how that made me feel; like I was drowning. I couldn't talk to my dad. I couldn't. If I did, I'd end up asking him to come back home, begging even. Because I wanted him to come home and only Jacob knew that. But he wasn't there, he abandoned me for some girl that was gone his entire life and had now decided to come back to destroy mine. I had stopped counting the nights I cried myself to sleep and woke up with a fake smile on just so nobody would know. He avoided me even at school and only after a lot of pressure from a worried Leah did I break down and tell her everything I felt for Jacob, about the fact that I had come to love and need him so much that I couldn't bear it. About all those feelings I had for him, but he was unaware and wouldn't even cast me a second glance.

The worse thing had happened in my birthday, though. Since it was my sixteenth birthday, Leah and Paul decided they'd throw me a big party. As a gesture of reconciliation, I called Jacob and miraculously he had answered. I invited him and, much like a ghost from the past, he excitedly said he'd be there. I was happy. A small futile hope had bloomed inside me that maybe things weren't completely destroyed and that maybe we could go back to the way we were before. I took my time getting ready for the party, wearing a pretty dress my mom had bought me as a gift; a strapless baby pink dress that hit just above my knees, tight on the bodice with the skirt flaring down. I even wore my only pair of white heels, reserved especially for prom. I let Leah do my makeup, choosing a simple look with a pretty pink lipstick. I waited for him to show up, talking with everyone at the party but still looking back at the door to see when he'd walk in.

He didn't. I waited all night for him to show up and when I realized that he wasn't coming I excused myself and went to the bathroom. When Leah came to fetch me to blow the sixteen pink candles that were on my chocolate chip birthday cake, she found me carefully wiping away the runny mascara from my cheeks. She hugged me empathetically, trying to lighten my mood up. I put on a smile and thanked everyone, blew my candles and made a wish, already knowing that it wasn't going to come true. I wished for my Jacob. I wished for our old times to come back and for things to go back to normal. They wouldn't and I knew it. When he called later that night, right before I went to bed he said he was sorry he couldn't make it. I needn't ask the reason; it had something to do with Bella. It always had. I told him I was sorry too and hung up. I hadn't returned any of his calls since.

Then what was he doing now, sitting in front of my house like a leading actor in a movie? Because, it's time I admit it; he had the looks for it. His black hair was mussed up, as if he'd run his hand through them several times and his chiseled, sharp features made for quite the attractive face. His forehead creased as he looked back at me with a slightly dazed look, like he had never taken a good look at me before. He stood up, unfolding himself to his full height. His head was ducked slightly. I couldn't understand why Bella had left him the second Cullen waltzed right back into her life; Edward had nothing on Jacob.

"Jacob" his name rolled off my tongue a little too easily and it had a familiar taste to it, like home. "What are you doing here?"

A breath whooshed out of his lungs. I thought the wind carried the scent of his cologne straight to me as it blew, whipping my long black hair back suddenly. I tucked a tendril that had escaped the headband behind my ear and shifted my weight slightly. I watched his Adam's apple bob slightly as he gulped and that's when I first noticed that his eyes were red-trimmed and puffy and he could so obviously use a good night's sleep. I felt a strange tug on my heart; an unseen force beckoning me forward and in his direction.

"Can we talk?" his voice sounded hoarse and foreign; it didn't occur to me before that I had never seen Jacob so heart-broken and, in return, my heart started aching.

"I didn't think we had anything to talk about anymore. I mean, you've gone so far to avoid me, why ruin it now?" I couldn't help the bitterness that dripped from my voice.

Hurt flashed in his eyes and he ducked his head again, inhaling sharply.

"I guess I deserved that" he mumbled, more like he was voicing his thoughts instead of actually talking to me. "I know I messed up. Your brother, Leah, Embry and Quil have grizzled me about it. I think Paul even tried to punch it through my head, in case I didn't get it. Trust me, when I say that _I know_"

"Trust you? Now?" I didn't like the way my voice quivered like this. "Look, Jake, I don't know what the hell you've been thinking for the past months, but that word associated with you, just doesn't exist. You've hardly been around anymore and I won't talk to _you_, I'll talk to _my_Jacob, when he's back and not too busy chasing after some girl from Arizona to talk to his best friend, who's always been there for him"

He visibly staggered, as if my words had actually been a physical blow. I hadn't realized I had walked closer to him; not until I was close enough to extend my hand forward and touch his chest. He looked at me through sad eyes and for a second I felt as if I was looking at a little lost boy, whose world had just turned upside down. A sob was trying to fight free and my chest heaved with the effort to breathe. I wished for the ground to open and swallow me right now, because I couldn't take it anymore.

"You left me too, Jake" my voice broke and that drowning feeling resurfaced and made it impossibly hard for me to inhale.

Suddenly his arms were around me and I was enveloped in warmth. The tears escaped and ran freely down my cheeks. My whole body shook as I tried not to sob openly. The dull ache in my chest started fading very slowly and it felt good to just let it all flow. I buried my face in the cotton of his t-shirt, trying to hide.

"I'm sorry" he whispered brokenly. "I'm sorry; I never meant to hurt you so much. I was so stupid, so darn stupid. I'm sorry, please forgive me"

Drawing in a shaky breath, I pulled back slightly and he loosened his arms enough for me to step back. I was within his reach, both his hands on my hips. My hand was against his chest, above the place where his heart beat rapidly. The heat his body emitted felt a little too much. I frowned up at him, silently asking him if he was sick. I prayed that the mind link we had developed over the years was still there.

"I'm not ill. Not physically anyway" his voice was a mere whisper and his breath washed over my face. "I'm sorry Sophie. I never meant to screw up so badly. I was blind and so, so stupid. Why would I ever think a girl like Bella could be for me? Why couldn't I see what was there in front of me?"

His hands started shaking. I felt the tremor down to my heart. My hands traveled down his arms to his hands and I entangled our fingers. Slowly, the shaking stopped and he looked at me with such a tender look on his face, it made the ice that had overcome my heart melt completely. I thought he meant that he couldn't see that Bella was just messing with him until her Edward came back, that he should've seen that coming.

"It wasn't until after I had a talk with Leah that everything fell into place" his eyes lit within with a burning intensity. "I should have known. I should have seen. I should have been man enough to admit it to myself and go for the right girl instead of the first one who showed interest openly"

Slowly, hesitantly even, his hands let go of mine and moved to my hips again, pulling me closer to him once more. I couldn't make out the look in his eyes before he started to lean down. My head tilted back slightly, my body molding against his perfectly as I anticipated what was to come. My heart started beating rapidly in my chest, like a scared bird trying to fly out of a cage. And then his lips brushed against mine once, twice, before they pressed firmly against them and my eyes fluttered closed.


	2. Chapter 2

I suppose I should get used to finding him outside my house, waiting for me. The image of him yesterday flitted to the forefront of my mind as Paul and I stepped out in the chilled Friday morning air. The breeze swept my hair backwards, momentarily forcing me to turn my head the other way and flip them behind my shoulder before my eyes met his. Paul said something I didn't catch; perhaps a _hello_ to the friend he hadn't seen around since forever and something that sounded suspiciously like _It's about time you got your head out of your ass, Jakey_.

I would never get used to the fact that my childhood best friend had grown up to be a very _fine_ young man, all muscles beneath thin clingy white t-shirts and faded denim jeans, with a black leather jacket molding perfectly over his shoulders. His hair was styled in that new trend that boys seem to sport where their hair is mussed upwards. It was unfair that he looked so much like a GQ model that I felt so average standing next to him. What was even more unfair, though, was the way he looked at me after he had answered Paul, when his eyes went from being friendly and playful to intense and smoldering. There was that tug in my heart again, urging me forward the same way his eyes were beckoning me.

I fidgeted for a second with the hem of my silvery grey sweater, regretting immediately the overly casual look I had decided to sport today. I should've worn my more flattering denim high-waisted jeans that made my legs look like they went on for miles, instead of the comfy black stretch-cotton skinny ones. I readjusted the strap of my backpack over my shoulder and took a tentative step forward, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear, having completely forgotten that I had just recently pierced my ears and as my hand touched it, the sting reminded me again. I bit my lip and remained impassive, wishing the burn away from around the brand-new silver hoop dangling from the top part of my left ear.

"Good morning, beautiful" Jacob said when I reached him and smiled warmly.

I barely had the chance to mumble a response. His free arm wrapped around my waist firmly, tugging me against him and pressing a soft kiss on my lips. He nibbled on my lower lip slightly, getting a taste of my green apple-flavored lip gloss. I made a mental note to reapply it later as he pulled back with a wide grin, dimples visible.

I had a brief flashback of one day we had spent at the beach, one of the many of last summer. It was an unusually sunny day and we had walked all the way to the other end, where the caves were. He somehow managed to find us a small, secluded spot against the rock, where we sat really close to each other. I remember sharing a story I had recently read, one about a maiden who had married a captain. They both loved the sea so much, but because they were starting a home, neither of them wanted the other to face temptation and leave. So they vowed to never go out in the sea. But, as the storyteller said, _the sea is a jealous mistress and all the handsome captains belong to her_. So she seduced the young captain to come out and then she drowned him. His wife, though quite pregnant, took a boat and went out to find her; all the way yelling and demanding the sea give her back the husband. The sea merely laughed at the young woman and taunted her. The gods, though, had taken pity on her and transformed her to a seabird. And from that day forth, seabirds throw sticks and stones in the sea, still trying to harm the sea for taking the young captain away from his wife.

It had been a story from _The Tiger's Voyage_, the third book of a new book series Paul had purchased for me in Port Angeles. I found it incredibly interesting, though awfully melancholic. As I recited it to him that day, I remember he had looked down at me with a lazy half-smile. His eyes had reminded me of coal burning in the fireplace on cold Christmas evenings, the same way they burned warmly right now. I remember he had his arm around me and he had tugged me even closer against him. Then he fell silent and just stared ahead into the ocean for a long time with a faraway look on his face.

"Ready to get going?" his voice brought me back to the present with a snap.

I nodded shyly and he smiled, releasing me just long enough to open the passenger door to his impossibly big black truck. He helped me climb on the seat and jogged to the other side while I strapped on my seatbelt. It was new; the leather seats smelled strongly and everything was stark clean. I knew for a fact that Jake had probably rebuilt the engine and fixed the paint, but the seats must've been a gift from Billy for his birthday. I relished at the feeling of them against my palms for a brief moment before I tucked my hands against my lap again, folding them modestly.

When Jacob turned the key, the engine came alive with a loud purr that made the entire car vibrate. I glanced at him momentarily and he smiled impishly, reminding me of a little boy who had just been informed that he would get ice cream cake. I bit the inside of my lip to hide a smile and turned my head the other way shyly. Parachute were playing from the radio and as the next song came up we both reached for the volume button to turn it up. Our fingers touched briefly and the electric current sparked between us deliciously, making me gasp quietly. I drew my hand back quickly and let him do it, nibbling on my lip.

_When the lights go down in Brooklyn__  
><em>_As she's walking out the door__  
><em>_Oh and they're lining up like soldiers__  
><em>_Going off to fight the war__  
><em>_And all the colors look like fireworks__  
><em>_In skies she knew before_

"I remember you sitting on the other side of the bonfire, holding Seth's guitar" Jacob's voice was tender, filled with an emotion I couldn't quite decipher. "You started playing this song out of a sudden. I think you must've been around thirteen at the time. I think that's when I started loving Parachute so much; when you sing their songs you seem like you're in your own personal happy bubble and nobody and no one can make you sad, even for those few moments"

My heart started beating impossibly faster in my chest. I remember the night he was referring to; it was the first time I had been open with playing guitar for someone other than the two of us. I couldn't resist the temptation when Seth brought his brand new acoustic guitar to the party; I just had to try it out. He handed it easily, sitting down next to me as I went through his file. The song had been familiar; Leah had put it on replay the other day. And my fingers found the chords easily as I started to sing it. And really, when I play, everything else fades away until it's just me and the music. I'm positive I don't sound anything like a singer, I'm too unpracticed and sometimes a bit off-tune, but it's something I enjoy so I do it anyway. When my fingers are touching a guitar, the entire world around me ceases to exist for a few minutes, until the notes fade away.

"I liked that song" I murmured, tracing the faint scars on the inside of my wrist with my fingertips. "Leah had it on all the time back then until she found a new one"

His hand closed around my wrist. We stopped at a red light and he turned to look at me fully. I didn't know what was about his eyes that made me remember of all the times he'd been there for me. And my mind catapulted me back to that horrible, horrible night, just a few weeks after I'd turned twelve. I remembered going home after an afternoon spent at the beach and finding my parents in the kitchen at each other's faces, yelling loudly. I looked between them, the happiness and joy vanishing completely as I stared in mild confusion and fear. Then my dad left the kitchen in a whirlwind of movement, yelling something at mum who rushed to follow him, her face twisted in an angry mask and her voice hoarse. He went to their shared bedroom, pulled out two of his suitcases and packed up as many things as he could, as I watched him from the doorway.

I couldn't think of something that had gone wrong so suddenly. Only yesterday they were kissing in the kitchen; a stolen moment between two married people that were so deeply in love, when their only daughter wasn't looking. My dad's sudden departure brought to my attention that nothing was as it seemed; it was all an act for my sake, just my parents pretending they were happy. It turned out that my dad had a gambling problem and had wasted a few thousand dollars playing poker and continuously losing. When mom found out that so much money was gone, she went livid. They fought for hours before I came home and dad packed up and left. I felt the world collapsing around me, shattering like a mirror thrown against rocks. In my head, I saw it all; images in broken glass swirling around me.

I couldn't remember exactly when I had fled the house, my heart beating wildly in my chest. I hadn't noticed I had taken dad's pocket knife from the office until the blade was against my wrist. I did several horizontal cuts across both of them, feeling so heartbroken that I didn't realize the unbearable pain until I passed out. Only when I woke up in a hospital bed, with a passed out Jacob sitting in a chair nearby my bed, did I learn from a nurse that my friend had carried me there, pale and covered in blood and said that I had cut my wrist with a broken glass. They didn't ask further questions even though the cuts were only on my wrists and too clean and even to had been caused by an accident. I had lost a lot of blood and if Jake hadn't gotten to me in time, I wouldn't have made it.

"You dyed your hair red" the comment came out of the blue, but when I looked into his eyes there was nothing but amused delight in them. "I often wondered when you'd do it; you've been talking about dying your hair for a while"

"Yeah, well, Leah needed something to distract me" I half-smiled and twirled one of the loose tendrils around my finger. "She thought about dying hers too, but Paul would be furious"

"You look beautiful" his compliment brought the heat back on my face.

His hand slipped just a bit lower until mine was safely encased by his. His fingers felt extremely warm to the touch and I briefly wondered again if he was feverish. He gave a gentle, reassuring squeeze and then returned his gaze ahead for the rest of the drive. He didn't allow me to extract my hand until I had to get out of the car. And even then, it wasn't for long. He was quick to jog to my side of the truck and help me down by taking a hold of my hips. I put my hands on his shoulders out of reflex, to find something to hold onto as I dropped to the ground.

I expected people to be staring. That's what they usually did when a girl and a boy drove together at school. Gossip was spread and whispers followed the couple wherever they went, but that didn't seem to be the case for us. I waved at Leah and Paul when I saw them, sitting around a picnic table with Jared and Kim, Embry, Quil and Seth. Neither of them seemed surprised when they saw us either. It occurred to me that it was odd; their reaction was as if it was expected, as if it was something that was meant to happen eventually. The only reaction I got from them was a smile and a glance at our joined hands.

"I have to go" I mumbled quietly, before we even reached them. "The band is expecting me to show up before class to the music room. See you later"

I reached up and pecked his cheek quickly before turning around and rushing inside the building. What had gotten into me? My stomach had started feeling queasy the minute Leah's eyes met mine and she gave me the look that said that I had to tell her everything. And my first inclination was to run. I couldn't talk to Leah now, not when everything had started to rebuild just yesterday. It was still tender and it still hurt some and I was just not ready. If I had that discussion with her then I wouldn't be able to refrain from spilling out that I was afraid everything would tumble to the ground again and this time I wouldn't be able to make it. Because it was bound that sometime Bella would come looking for him again and I couldn't tell for sure what he'd do then. There was a big chance that he would forget me the minute his eyes would fall on her.

I had seen a photo of her and even though Leah and the guys reassured me that there was absolutely nothing special about the girl, I wasn't so sure. She was petite, with a smooth creamy unwrinkled and unblemished complexion. Even though I could detect a small imperfection on her lips, as the upper was slightly larger than the lower, her face seemed almost symmetrical, with large doe chocolate brown eyes framed with dark lashes. Her hair had that mahogany brown shade that every brunette dreamed of; the sort of brown that turns red in the right light. She was pretty and clumsy; a combination that made guys want to puff out their chests and wrap her in silk and protect her from the world. It was revolting to the sight; seeing guys fawn over one girl like that just because she couldn't walk in a straight surface without tripping.

"Sophie! Hey, wait up!" Leah caught up with me quicker than I'd anticipated. "Hey! What's the hurry? I know for a fact that the band won't be in the music room for another ten minutes; divas all of them. Hey! Will you slow down?"

Her hand reached out and caught my forearm as I was about to turn the corner. She dragged me in the nearest girls' bathroom. I inhaled deeply and turned to face her. One look at me made her expression alter from annoyed to worry.

"What's wrong?" her forehead had started to crease as her eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Hey, you can talk to me; you know that, don't you?"

"I know, I know. It's just that… I really, _really_ don't feel like talking about this right now" I leaned against the cold marbled wall and crossed my arms over my chest. "It's too soon and it's sort of… a big chance. Talk about one eighty turn! I don't know what to think about all this"

"Isn't this what you wanted from the start?" her voice had softened as she leaned on the wall next to me.

I asked the question again in my mind. I had to take a deep breath to stop myself from having an anxiety attack. I did. I wanted Jake to be with me with every sense of the word. But Bella was always fiddling around the corners of my subconscious, always there to make me feel insecure about it.

"You are the only person who knows just how much I love Jake and how much I need him to be like that for me" my breath left me in a deep sigh. "But I don't want to be the rebound girl. I'd rather he be out of my life than being happy with him for a few days before he runs back to her when she whistles"

"Look, for all its worth, Paul talked to Jake before allowing him to come over" she confessed quietly. "Jake was thoroughly warned that if he fucked up with you again, there won't be a body left for them to find. And we both told him to think it thoroughly and if he would go back to her when she called, then it's best he stay away for good. I took it as a good sign when I saw him there. I know Jake all my life. I don't think he'd do that to you Sophie"

"I'm not sure" I whispered, rubbing my temples with my fingertips. "I mean… I don't know"

"I know sweetie. Just talk to him about it and tell him to slow things down. He cares deeply about you. At this point, he'd do anything just for you to be able to trust him again" Leah's smile was reassuring as she tucked my hair behind my ear.

"I know" I sighed. "He said so himself. Let's just hope he'll do good on his word"

And with that, I left her standing there, knowing fully well that this conversation wasn't over. And that I would have to face Jake sooner or later. But for now, I opted to just focus on the band practice before I had to head out to Calculus.

"One, two, three…"

_You said it in a simple way; four a.m. the second day  
>How strange that I don't know you at all<br>I stumbled through the long goodbye, one last kiss then catch your flight  
>Right when I was just about to fall<em>


	3. Chapter 3

"I knew I'd find you here"

I almost dropped the guitar when I heard his voice behind me. He caught it, reaching with one arm in front of me so quickly that my mind didn't have the time to process the movement. It made me slightly dizzy. I turned my head sharply. His face was inches away from mine and I could feel the heat from his body seep through the thin long-sleeved blouse I had thrown on this morning. My throat went instantly dry and I found it hard to swallow. It had been my automatic reaction to him for the past week. But right now, it felt more justified than ever.

"Did you want something?" I reached out to get my guitar but he pulled it away and behind his back, looking at me intensely.

"You've been avoiding me" he said, his voice filled with an emotion remotely close to hurt.

My fingers worked their way to the hem of my blouse. They tangled around the soft cotton and tugged slightly. And image started to form right before my eyes, when my mom had sent me to Billy's to drop off a plate of her homemade chocolate chip cookies. An old beat-up Chevy truck with peeled-off red paint was parked haphazardly in front of the red brick house and a petite figure with long mahogany brown hair was pushing her way past a confused and slightly irritated Billy. I barely heard her asking him why Jake wouldn't return her calls before I set the plate down, refusing to meet Billy's eyes when he spotted me, and sprinted away as fast as I could.

I sought out solace to clear my head in a small, remote spot on the other side of the cliffs. It was small, barely enough room for two people; me and Jake had discovered it when we were younger. I still came to find some peace and quiet and forget about the stress of everyday life, usually accompanied by my guitar and my file. It was usually where you'd find me during all my free time for the past several months. I had lost count of how many times I had left the house, guitar case slung over my shoulder and file in hand, running towards here after spending yet another day reading through my old conversations with Jacob and going through our photos together.

My chest heaved with a sigh as I turned my back to him. I heard the soft thud of the guitar as he placed it in its case. He zipped it up without saying a word, though I could feel his eyes burning holes through my back. I didn't hear him move. In fact, I thought that he had stayed in the place I'd left him. When his hand touched my arm, I jumped slightly and my heard skipped a beat in fright. He shot me an apologetic smile, supposedly reassuring, but I didn't take it as that. And inside, I tried bringing up a wall around my heart for the upcoming confrontation. I steeled my resolve and reminded myself of all those sleepless nights spent daydreaming about times passed. Needless to say, it didn't help me at all.

"I saw Bella going in your house the other day" I was proud at myself for keeping my voice from shaking.

The change in his entire demeanor was obvious. His face turned to stone; his eyes growing cold like the smooth surface of a piece of hematite and the warm smile vanishing to give its place to a thin strict line. His entire body turned rigid, much like a stone statue. His hand steeled around my forearm, like a vice grip and when I tried to move my hand away he wouldn't budge. And then a soft vibration started from his palm, sending a shock through me, and slowly turning into shaking. His whole frame was literarily shaking with the force of the violent tremors that went through his entire body.

"Jacob? Jake, calm d-down" I stammered, terrified of what was happening to him.

His eyes had closed, a firm crease making an appearance between his eyebrows. My free hand shot out and smoothed it out unconsciously. His eyelids snapped up and for the first time I noticed a thin round golden circle around his pupils. Its color was brilliant against the natural onyx color of his irises, contrasting violently. Oxygen whooshed out of my lungs quickly; gasping as I stared back at him through wide eyes. His whole face relaxed suddenly and the tremors stopped abruptly. The gold faded away from his eyes as soon as it came and I was able to pull away from him. I took a step back away from him and there a fleeting pained grimace crossed his features for a split second.

"What the hell is going on Jacob?" my voice sounded high-pitched, close to hysterical.

"Things have changed… since Bella came around" his voice was oddly low and gravelly and his chest heaved with a deep breath. "Please. I need time… I can't say all of this right now to you"

"Oh, really? So, wait, you decide that after all those _months_ you've spent with _her_, you can come back to me like nothing ever happened and expect that everything will go back to normal just like that?" anger had bubbled inside of me and, in combination with fear and panic, made me lose my cool. "Who the hell do you think you are Jacob Ephraim Black?"

A tear rolled down my cheek and I wiped it away forcibly. He had frozen in shock and was staring at me intensely, pleading, his lips parted slightly. Did he really think that? Didn't he know me at all? I wasn't one to be pushed around or taken for granted, not anymore, not after everything he'd put me through; not even he could get away with anything like that so easily.

"You've been with her for far too long, I think. Has her selfish behavior rubbed off on you so much, Jake? Do you even have _any_ idea how many nights I cried myself to sleep because of you? And you didn't even deserve it!" I was right in his face right now, our noses inches away. "You threw away _years_ of friendship for a girl who, at the end of the day, didn't even love you back! And I had _always_ been here. _Always_. You were my best friend for a really long time and it _hurt_ so much when you let me go"

He made to say something, but I cut him off with a finger jabbing his chest.

"You. Have. No. Right. And I'm sure that little miss I'm-so-clumsy-and-need-everyone's-attention is in on _everything_that goes on with your life right now, otherwise she wouldn't have been calling you non-stop for God knows how long. And you _dare_ come back and say all those things to me, kissing me the way you did and promising things that you obviously can't give me, saying you didn't see what was right in front of you and for a _second_ making me feel like you actually _cared_…"

"I _do_ care!" he exclaimed loudly, his arms shooting out at the sides and his eyes going wide. "I _do_care, more than you think"

"Then why was she there, Jake, huh? What was she doing at your house? What was she even doing calling you when she was? Why is she in your life in the first place Jake? Because I really don't get it" tears overflowed my eyes and rolled down as I blinked, but I was too angry to care.

"It's more complicated than you think it is…"

"So it's not just you falling for her at first sight? Look at me in the eyes and tell me you didn't fall in love with Isabella Swan" I demanded.

"I _thought_ it was love. I thought that maybe if I was there for her, maybe then she'd see that she loved me too" he sounded close to desperation. "Then she went off to Italy for three whole days, creating a living hell for Charlie and _that's_ when I started to think. I _begged_ her to stay with me, not go back to her after the number he did on her. And that's when I realized that the man I hated for hurting her was actually no worse than I was. I was doing the same damn thing to you and I was _killing_you. And, in return, I was slowly killing myself because, really, I wasn't really living without you"

Sincerity burned through his eyes, reaching mine. A tug started in my chest, painfully pushing against my heart, inching me forward. No, not now. Not again. Not ever. I couldn't handle it one more time.

"You can't do this to me" I whispered brokenly, holding myself back. "You can't, Jake. I don't want to go through it again"

"You're not" his hands closed around my forearms tightly, but not painfully. "_Look at me_. Without you, I'm nothing, really. With Bella, I'm still nothing. Only _with_ you, I'm me and I'm able to breathe properly. I mistook all those as _love_, thinking that my breath went away when she was around because I _needed_ her so badly in my life. But I couldn't breathe because _you_ weren't there. Even then, my entire being knew that I needed _you_ all along, that the missing part of _my_ soul was inside _you_"

"No, no, no" I whispered, ducking my head. "You can't. I was just starting to rebuild myself. I was just starting to make myself believe that I was okay, that I could live without you"

"You don't have to anymore" there was a desperate edge to his voice and his face was suddenly in my line of vision. "_Sophie, please_"

"What am I going to do when you leave again, Jake?" I lifted my head and he did the same, mirroring my movement. "I can't. I'll literarily fall apart if you go once more. I won't resurface again"

"I'm not going anywhere" he whispered, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "Listen to me; I know now. I'm seeing the world though new eyes. I _know_. I can see you were the one meant for me all along"

"How, Jake? If you didn't know before, how can you know now?" I demanded forcibly, pushing against his chest. "How. Do. You. Know?" I punctuated each word with a hit of my fist against his chest.

"Are you going to hear me out? Let me show you?" he took each hit all the while looking in my eyes. "I'll show you first, but you need to hear me out afterwards. Will you do that? For old time's sake?"

I took a deep breath and took a step back. _For old time's sake._ He backed away several steps until he was several feet away. Then, he lifted his arms and stripped off his t-shirt. I frowned at first, before turning my blushing face away when he removed the rest of his clothes one by one. I honestly didn't know what he was thinking; stripping just wouldn't do it for me. Yeah, well, his body was great. Yes, yes, we all realized that. What on earth was he doing?

A painfully loud cracking sound echoed around me and I turned my head sharply to the spot where he had been standing before. In his place now stood a magnificent large russet wolf with the same deep onyx black eyes as the human Jacob Black.

My vision started blurring at the edges, darkening quickly until everything went black. It turned out to be too late to remind myself to breathe.

_Baby there's something that you did that holds me on  
>Maybe there's something that just keeps me from moving on<br>The moment I see you, I know it's gonna be you  
>I got this figured out<em>

I opened my eyes and faced the zodiac blue ceiling of my bedroom, with the glow-in-the-dark stars forming the galaxy on its surface. My stereo was still playing music. Had I been dreaming, then? Did I dream it all? Did I dream about the fight and the wolf?

But then a light snore came from next to me and I turned my head to see Jake's face pressed against one of his arms that was against my mattress. The rest of his body was lying uncomfortably on the ground. Then it wasn't a dream. He must've carried me all the way home after I had passed out.

My fingers wound themselves in the inky locks of his hair and I relished the soft feel. He used to keep them long, all the way down his back, but he had cut it short a while back. His shoulders moved with each breath he took and he looked so relaxed that I hated to wake him up. Even I couldn't be so mad at him as to let him sleep on the floor in such an uncomfortable position. My hand shook his arm gently and his eyes snapped open a little too suddenly, as if my touch was the signal he'd been waiting for.

"Sophie! Are you alright? How are you feeling?" his voice was low and husky from sleep as he pulled himself up from the floor and stretched, his joints cracking loudly.

I couldn't find words to speak so I just shrugged my shoulders. He sat down on the bed next to me and then he started talking. First, he recited one of the tribe legends; the legend of the Cold Ones and the Spirit Warriors and proceeded on with the story of Taha Aki and the Third Wife. He told me the stories were real and that a few "lucky" members of the tribe possessed the gene that made them morph into wolves at will or when they lost control of their anger. He spoke of vampires that hunted humans and had red eyes and then the Cullens and the treaty his grandfather, Ephraim, had formed with them as long as they kept on feeding on animals and not hurting humans, which was why their eyes were golden and not red. He told me that he had discovered that he was one of them shortly after Bella started coming over often, a few months after _Paul_ had.

It shocked me to no end to hear that my brother was a wolf as well. I had signed off his late returns as going off to visit some girl and his constant disappearances to his reputation as a skirt chaser; after all, all girls discussed about how hot he was at school and that quite a few of them had the luck to be one of his girls. Later, though, I thought he was just running off to see Leah, since he didn't seem able to spend two waking seconds away from her. Turns out he spent his free time running patrols and hunting down vampires. This day was just getting crazier and crazier.

At some point, he stopped abruptly and stared at me intensely. I fidgeted uncomfortably under his scrutiny and wished he'd stop looking at me like that; like I was the sun and he had been a blind man for a long, long time. Then he inhaled deeply before looking away and running a hand through his hair; something he did when he was internally straining with himself.

"There's one aspect in this whole thing that's going to sound absurd, but at the same time, I think it's the most wonderful thing in the story" he started hesitantly, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "It's called _imprinting_. Legend said it's rare, but lately the numbers of the imprinted members of the pack have sufficiently increased. There are _four_ of us now. It's the wolf's mechanism of recognizing its soul-mate. When you look into her eyes; your entire world shifts and suddenly all strings that used to attach you to the Earth are suddenly replaced by one single steel cord that connects you to her. And nothing else can ever matter as much as she does"

"So it's basically love at first sight" I murmured, staring out my window at the dark forest surrounding the house.

"It's much, much stronger like that. It's like… _magic_ really. You would throw yourself in front of a gun for her; you'd kill anyone who'd ever dare harm her in any way. You would be anything she needs you to be; a friend, a brother and a lover when the time is right" he paused and turned to look at me. "You recognize her as the missing part of your being, the only thing in this world that can keep you grounded and the only thing that completes you in every way"

My heartbeat sped up. His hand sought out mine and he entwined our fingers stealthily, with no indication that he was going to let go.

"I said I'd explain everything. I can't stand you thinking that I'm ever leaving again or that I'll run back to Bella like a puppy when she whistles. She thinks of me as her best friend, still. She thinks she has some sort of claim on me, but she doesn't because all that I am belong to you and only you" his expression had softened and he looked at me with a newfound tenderness I had never seen in his eyes before. "And I've quit being stupid enough to think that I can defy my destiny any longer. I don't want Bella because she's not right for me. I want you, because you've always been there and you've given me a billion reasons to love you, even when I gave you none"

I don't know any more whether I'm dreaming or not. Can all of this really be true?

"Bella was by my place because she says she missed me. I avoided her as much as I could for both our sakes and Edward's. He's out of his mind with her stubborn attitude plus a redhead vampire that's hell-bent over avenging her dead mate. The Cullens killed him and she's been trying to push past us for the last month or so to get to Bella to kill her. And, as it's our duty, we can't let her harm any human within our protection. So, we're throwing her off as best as we can. But the Cullens say that she might be creating an army of vampires in Seattle, hence the recent massacre in the city" he sighed. "And for that I'm going to need you to keep off the forest for a while, even though I know how much you love hiking through it. I don't want you getting hurt, or worse getting killed. We're going to fight them sometime in the near future and get rid of that threat, but until then, we have a lot of preparations to do with the Cullens"

"That's a lot to take in" I sighed.

"I know. I understand. I thought I was dreaming when it first happened to me" he closed his eyes and let out a long breath. "You asked me how I knew and I've answered you as best as I could. I'll leave and let you think it through. I'll see you tomorrow, Soph"

"Goodnight" I whispered as he crossed the room.

"Sweet dreams" he smiled softly and then disappeared in the doorway.

I was left there, staring after him for a long while. A tug in my heart made it clear that he shouldn't be away from me; that I should keep him as close to me as humanly possible. But my mind was fuzzy and all the information whirled around in a tornado inside my head, forming incoherent thoughts. Nightmares about vampires fighting gigantic wolves kept me up all night and a light amongst the trees beckoned me towards it, but no matter how fast I ran, I just couldn't reach it.


	4. Chapter 4

My room was on the highest point of the house. It wasn't exactly a third floor, but it used to be the attic until I decided I wanted that to be my room. Paul had taken it upon himself to moderate it for me when I told him what I wanted. There was a large glass window that opened to a small balcony and from there I used to climb to the roof when I was younger, until mom demanded that Paul put a railing around the balcony. He did, but also added a large garden swing with a canopy he built for me so I could sit out there whenever I wanted. With the help of a lot of fluffy pink pillows, I had turned it into a cozy little corner for me to curl up whenever I felt down.

I woke up earlier than usual today and found the sun shining on the sky. There were a few clouds, but they wouldn't be a bother. Smiling slightly to myself, I showered and got dressed in a pair of my comfiest grey yoga pants and one of Paul's weight lifting t-shirt I had stolen from him a while back. Piling my hair in a messy bun, I went to the kitchen to grab a granola bar and a glass of milk before escaping out in my balcony with a couple of magazines, a book, my laptop and my guitar. I planned on spending as much time as I could out there, until I had to go help mom with baking and making food for the bonfire tonight. It had become a tradition for us lately; cooking with mom helped take my mind off things.

Taking a bottle of neon pink manicure, I decided on doing my nails too. I turned on the music and started painting. It took a solid five minutes for them to dry completely. I started reading the book, but I couldn't concentrate on it. I found the sky to be far more interesting today than the story or the magazines. There was a cloud that had a shape that reminded me of a phoenix. Then it moved along and the illusion disappeared. I closed my eyes, soaking in the daylight and I allowed my mind to drift.

There was a game I liked to play as a kid. Jake had come up with it one day, saying he read about it somewhere. It was called "Would you rather". He would make a question giving me two options and I would make another one, after choosing one of the two, and the game would go on like that. When we grew a bit older, the questions got a bit more serious than the childish ones of asking if we'd rather eat chocolate or vanilla ice cream. I started asking him about with whom he'd like to go out, that girl or the other? And he'd ask about boys. Back then, we were just messing around. I knew we were. But a couple of months after I turned fourteen, he and I had our first fight over that game.

We were cuddled on the sofa at his house and I was playing with his hair. They were really long then and so silky; I loved to run my fingers through them. Then he'd dropped the question: would you rather kiss Embry or me? I froze for a second, thinking that he might've picked up on my crush on him and so I had told him I'd rather kiss Embry. He had jumped up as if I'd singed him and glared at me. Then he demanded to know if I preferred Embry to him. I told him he was my best friend and that it'd be weird to kiss him, that maybe we wouldn't be friends after that. He said that we would _always _be best friends, no matter what happened. But he didn't like that I would choose Embry over him then. It didn't occur to me until later that maybe he was a bit jealous.

I was going through the phase when I thought we needed to add some more friends into our company. So we hung out with Quil, Paul, Leah, Jared, Kim and then Embry. I happened to like Embry. He wasn't like the rest of the guys and he liked to talk about a lot of things with me. He was always the one to stay behind with me when the guys went cliff diving. I had hated it back then, you see, and he preferred to sit quietly at the beach instead of following his loud and immature friends around. I noticed the strange glances Jacob was throwing us, but I had ignored them.

My phone ringing snapped me out of my thoughts. I frowned and picked it up, sliding it open.

"Hello?" I asked, sitting up.

"_Look down"_

And then the line went dead. Frowning slightly, I peeked over the edge of the railing and my heart almost stopped beating. Jacob was standing in the middle of my backyard, grinning. In the feint sun light he reminded me even more of a lead actor in a romance movie dressed in a white t-shirt and denim cut-offs, with his hair stylishly tousled and a white toothy billion watt smile. He motioned for me to back up a few steps and then he lunged forward. I watched him grab a hold of the edge of the large canopy that shielded the veranda outside the kitchen and effortlessly propel himself up. He climbed up the edge of the wall, grabbing on tightly on the vine and ended up on the outside of the railing, balancing on the roof.

"Good morning" he smiled softly.

"Oh, my God, what are you doing?! Get in here before you fall and break your obnoxiously big head!" I grabbed his arm and tugged him. "What were you thinking? You could've seriously injured yourself!"

"I didn't" he cut off my half-frightened, half-excited tirade. "And if I did, I heal really fast, but it's good to know that you worry about me"

"Cheeky thing, are you Black?" I narrowed my eyes and dropped his arm. "Whatever! Do anything you like. Just don't complain when you get hurt"

I went to turn around and walk away, but then suddenly he was in front of me. With an impish grin that reminded me of a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he walked me a few paces backwards until my back hit the railing. I swear I couldn't hear anything over the rapid beating of my heart. Blame it on the imprint if you'd like, but we both knew that this attraction between us existed way before that.

"I'd like to show you something" he was suddenly looking a bit shy and unsure of himself. "But I'll need you to trust me in order to do that. Can you?"

_Can._ Not "will". _Can_ I trust him? With a heavy sigh, I side-stepped him and walked inside in order to find some shoes. He followed me and leaned against the window frame as I fumbled around in my closet. I found a pair of white ADIDAS leisure shoes and slipped them on quickly. He motioned for me to follow him out the balcony again. Frowning and with nerves making my stomach tighten, I watched him look down the railing to both sides of the house. He wouldn't find anyone. Paul was at Leah's and mom had the night shift last night, so she was probably fast asleep by now.

Suddenly, the ground beneath me was gone and I squeaked in horror as Jacob picked me up. My arms wrapped around his shoulders instinctually, anchoring me to him. I could hear my heart hammering in my chest loudly. He chuckled quietly. I didn't have the time to reprimand him for it. He catapulted us straight off the balcony and time seemed to freeze around me. Tilting my head back, I gazed at the sky and for a second I felt like I was flying in the air. It brought back a memory of us swinging in that old rope swing that Billy had made for Jake when he was a kid. It hung in a clearing by the Black house and we loved to hang ourselves from that rope and pretend that we were birds, flying across the sky. The wind wheezed in my hair, throwing a few tendrils out of the bun. And then we started to descend. I closed my eyes to wait for the impact with the ground, but it never came. I opened my eyes and stared around. We were standing in my house's backyard, after jumping from the second floor. There ought to be some sort of injury on one of us. But it was as if we were standing there all along; no indication that he had jumped from seventeen feet distance.

"What..?" I frowned up at him, feeling confused. "How did you do that?"

"I'm a being of legends remember? It's one of my superpowers" he joked lightly and started walking towards the tree line. "I heal quickly, I move fast, it's difficult to injure me, I have super hearing and supper olfaction and I can hear everyone else's thoughts once I am in wolf form and they can hear mine; something like a psychic link between our brains. Annoys me to no end"

"I can't imagine how it is to have my brother in your head. I'm surprised you aren't scarred for life!" I joked, looking around me in bewilderment. "Where are you taking me?"

"There's this little spot I came across a couple of weeks ago. I thought that you'd love to go there" he shrugged his shoulders. "We just need to get out of sight. Hold on tight"

I barely had time to register his impish grin before he started flying through the forest. Because I couldn't bring myself to think that he was actually _running_; he was going too fast. I felt as if I was in a car going with 200 km/h. The wind in my face made my eyes water, but I couldn't bring myself to close my eyes. The scenery went by in a blur; a kaleidoscope of various shades of green, brown and grey, contorting around me as Jacob went faster, dodging fallen logs and low tree branches.

And then he stopped. The sun blinded me for a bit and I turned around to shield my face from the glare of the sudden light. Jacob was unnaturally warm against my side and as my forehead touched his shoulder, I felt the warmth seep deep into my skin. When I had gotten used to the light enough, I looked up and away from him into the place he had wanted me to see. It nearly took my breath away.

The ocean was a startling blue today. There were no clouds to give it its usual laden color. Above it, the sun was staring right at us, its beams warming my skin almost too much. I didn't even register when Jake set me down on my feet. I walked a few paces forward into the clearing and closer to the edge of the cliff. Soil gave its place gradually to dark grey stone beneath my feet. A lilac wildflower was growing in the crack on the rock. I felt my heart soar as I took in all the beauty around me.

"Do you like it?" his voice by my side made me almost jump.

I looked up at him. He had his hands stuffed in the pockets of his denim cut offs, his hair a disheveled mess as he grinned crookedly at me. I had a flashback of a little boy showing his best friend her brand new bicycle his dad had helped him fix for her. He had been nervous that day, afraid that I'd hate it so much I would never speak to him again because I wanted the one we'd seen at the shop in Seattle the day we went out with our parents. Of course, I couldn't help but love the baby pink tricycle with the white basket on the front of it and the little bell on the right handle. I kept it around until I was too big to get on it and still it was in my garage, intact.

"It's beautiful" I smiled hesitantly back at him. "Thank you for showing this to me"

"I thought you might like it" he repeated his earlier sentence with a soft tone. "And I was also hoping it could become a spot for us to come and, you know, spend time together"

"I don't think I remember how to get here" I nudged him lightly with my elbow. "See, a certain someone was going just a tad bit too fast for plain little me to actually understand how we got here"

"I can pick you up and bring you here whenever you want to" he offered, smiling. "Any time you'd like. Just call me up and I'll be there"

"Promise?" I held up my pinky finger, giving him the puppy dog eyes.

"Always" and with that he linked our pinky fingers together, like we used to do when we were little.

Chuckling a bit, I plopped down on the grass behind me, putting my feet near the edge of the rock. He sat down next to me cross-legged, staring off into the distance for a second. Then, he leaned back and laid down, closing his eyes against the bright light. I turned my head and watched him doze off, tucking my knees beneath my chin. My hand, almost on its own accord strayed towards his face, tracing his cheek with the fingertips, before wrapping an inky lock around one finger.

"I missed this" he whispered without even opening his eyes. "A lifetime just isn't enough to make up for the time I spent away from you. And I can't say 'sorry' enough"

"Hush" I put my finger over his lips. "What's done is done; we can't change it. And you don't need to apologize anymore, alright? It's okay. I forgive you. Just… don't do this to me again"

"I promise" his onyx eyes were suddenly staring back in mine intensely. "I'll never do that mistake again"

"Good to know"

Before I could lose all my bravado, I leaned down and pressed my lips against his. I couldn't believe of how easy it felt for me to be this close to him. He smelled of the forest; a deep woodsy smell mixed with the scent of sandalwood and cinnamon and something unique. I had said it before, I think. His lips were as soft as pillows as he moved them slowly over mine, this time letting me lead the kiss, set the pace and the force. Time could've frozen right then and I would be happy for the rest of my existence. But the need for oxygen was becoming too much for me and I had to pull back. Feeling light-headed, I allowed myself to trace my fingers over his cheeks once more, enjoying the smooth feel of them.

With a playful twinkle in his eyes, he sat up suddenly and rolled us over a couple of times. Giggling like a little girl, I pushed myself up and sat over his stomach. He looked up at me with a strange look on his face; like a cross between bewilderment, tenderness and joy. He reached up and twirled an escaped tendril of my hair around his finger, gazing up at me with an awed look on his face. Smiling, I released my hair from the bun and shook them loose, before lying down on top of him.

"Let's just stay here for a couple of hours okay?" I murmured against the crook of his neck. "I'm sure no one will come looking for us"

"Whatever you want" he whispered, planting a kiss against my temple.

Feeling content, I started humming a tune while tracing patterns across the right side of his chest. Werewolves, vampires, family, friends… I suppose they could all wait until later to be handled with. Right now, I just wanted this little piece of heaven to be engraved in my memory.

When we were about twelve, before my parent's divorce, Billy and my parents had taken us down at the beach one Saturday morning to play. I think it was one of the rare times Jake's sisters were around and hanging out with us. The first thing we did was jump in the water with Rachel, Rebecca and Paul following us. A splash fight occurred, with me and Paul against the Blacks. Jake had let me win, as always, while the twins tackled Paul together. My poor brother didn't stand a chance and after that, the elder siblings had decided they wanted to go back and dry off.

I can't remember how long we stayed in the water, floating and staring at the patterns the clouds created on the sky. The ocean was still that day, eerily so. Even though there was no need, I held on to Jake's hand in fear of floating away into the open. He hadn't minded; he never did. We were quiet all the while, peacefully, alone in our own little bubble that burst a couple of hours, it seemed, later, when my mom called out to me and told me it was time for brunch. But that sense of calm and serenity didn't fade for the rest of the day. I still remember that he didn't let go of my hand until it was absolutely necessary. The memory alone brought a small smile on my face.

"Remember that day we spent at the beach? When we were twelve, I think" Jake's voice broke the silence.

It was so bizarre, so outrageously insane that he had been thinking about _the exact same thing_ I had been thinking that I started laughing uncontrollably. Sitting up a bit, he looked down at me oddly, but with a small smile playing at his lips. Grinning from ear to ear, I looked up at him. That mind link we shared wasn't gone after all. We were still in the same wavelength.

"You know you're my best friend right? And you'll always be, no matter what" my laughter had died out, leaving behind it a sense of tranquility and adoration, reserved only for Jake.

"I know" he smiled softly, looking at me through hooded eyes. "I promised no more stupid mistakes"

"You might make a few more of those" I murmured.

I hadn't realized we'd both sat up. We were kneeling on the soil, facing each other. His body was against mine intimately. His breath fanned across my face. One of his hands brushed my hair back and away from my face before he planted a kiss against my forehead again. My arms wrapped around his shoulders and he maneuvered us around so that I was sitting across his lap with his long legs stretched out in front of him.

"I really did miss you, Sophie" he mumbled against my neck.

"I know. I missed you too, Jake" I released a soft sigh.

My head was resting right above the place where his heart beat and I could hear each thud it made.

My mom used to say that she envied Sarah and Billy when they first got together. Billy had been in love with Sarah for quite a while, since they were in primary school. I couldn't blame him; Jake's mother was a very beautiful and kind-hearted woman from what I've seen from pictures and judging from everything Billy and the twins said about her. I regret never meeting her. And when he finally found the courage to ask her out and be her boyfriend, according to my mom, he was always holding her tightly against him. She said Sarah would rest her head on his chest and close her eyes, listening to his heartbeat. And my mom and every other girl that looked at them, was jealous of that intimacy she shared with him. Billy was devastated when he'd lost her in that car accident.

When we were about ten, at Christmas, we gathered at the Black's. Dad had taken mom on holidays, just the two of them, in one of the rare occasions he'd remember he was married and needed to make his wife feel loved again. They were in New York and Paul and I had stayed at Billy's. On Christmas morning, after we'd opened our presents, we found Billy sitting out in the porch with an old photo album opened on his lap. He wasn't mad when we interrupted him. Instead, he took me and set me on his lap, with Jake in a chair on his other side and showed us photos from when he was younger.

I remember thinking that I'd love to have a special someone like that when I grew up; someone who would be the love of my life and nobody could take his place in my heart no matter how many years passed.

I didn't even notice when I fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

So mom decided to finally let me renovate my room! But, as Paul told me later on, she had decided it months ago and so he, Sam and Billy had started making all the new furniture I'd need and the old would be moved to the guest room that used to be my dad's study. Mom said we needed the space so she packed up his stuff and sent them all flying to him, before having Paul paint the once white walls a pretty shade of amber and replace the awful, as she called them, grey blinds he had put over the windows with white lace curtains. It was relatively larger than your average study, with about ten bookcases against the walls opposite the windows. Sam had stopped by a couple days ago and helped take them down to make space. Four of them were now installed into my bedroom.

My bedroom was probably the smallest in the house, due to the fact that it used to be an attic. But I had my own space and my closet was another room adjacent to mine, despite the fact that it was small too. It was the only place that wouldn't be renovated, but Leah had come over and we were currently trying to sort through my clothes to decide which needed to be tossed, given to charity or kept. All my clothes were on the mattress that was left in my room so I could sleep until everything was finished and ready to be placed in here. Modeling for Leah was always fun and she had brought over a bottle of that fruity kid's champagne that I adored; strawberry flavored of course. So far, we had decided on tossing only _one_ outfit that consisted of a medium length skirt with lots of bows and cotton flowers on it, an old torn and rugged floral print button down and a very old jacket that probably belonged to my grandmother. Two dresses were put in a box to be donated, along with three pairs of shoes that were a tad too small for me now and I had discovered them somewhere in my closet.

"Oh, my God, you never told me you had that!" she exclaimed, sitting up when I emerged from the closet.

The white button down shirt was vintage; one of my mom's. The sleeves were baggy until the elbow and from there my arm was encased in cream colored lace that clung to my skin tightly all the way to my wrist. It buttoned only until a bit above my cleavage and a set of pearly white buttons went all the way down. I paired it with a pretty black tight skirt that had pink and white roses on it. It hit just above my knee and, paired with my white heels, made me look and feel like a grown sophisticated woman.

"Oh, my God!" Leah exclaimed again, getting up and circling me to appreciate the outfit fully. "Damn, what else are you hiding in there? It better be a really cute dress for prom next Saturday!"

"I was hoping I could borrow something of yours for that night, but no I don't have a pretty dress in there" I shrugged and turned to look at myself in the mirror. "We might need to go shopping. But this isn't half bad"

"Sit down" she ordered, pulling out the stool for my vanity table in front of the mirror. "_You _have a date with Jake later and we need to fix you up"

"I still have one and a half hours before Jake comes to pick me up!" I sighed in frustration, but otherwise did as she told me. "And it's not like we're going anywhere fancy Leah; it's probably just movies and dinner"

"If he wants to keep his head, it better not be just that. He's got a lot of things to make up for. But, seeing as _I _actually talked to Jacob about your first real date, though he didn't tell me what exactly he was planning to do, I have orders to get you all dolled up" she winked and started combing through my hair. "Now let's make you look like the princess you really are"

It had grown out all the way down to the small of my back and most days it was a pain for me to comb them, so they were usually in a ponytail or a messy bun. But under Leah's confident fingers, my hair was braided in a fishtail braid neatly, with a pink ribbon tied at the edge. I barely had time to appreciate how pretty it looked on me before she was suddenly in front of me, pulling out her makeup bag from her purse. I finally gave up trying to protest and instead closed my eyes and let her work her magic on me.

Truth was I had totally forgotten all about my date with Jacob tonight. I was so caught up in renovation stuff that it had slipped my mind. He had come over a couple of days ago to drop some things for Paul and had found me in the living room. I had invited him in for something to drink or whatever, when he popped out the question. I was so caught off guard I stared at him in surprise for a couple of minutes before agreeing. He said he wanted to do things right this time with me and just told me he'd pick me up Saturday afternoon, which was, (hello, Sophie!) today.

"You're awfully quiet. What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" Leah's voice snapped me back. "Not that I don't know already, but a little justification is always nice"

She feathered a big brush with bronzer on it across my cheekbones, dusting just a touch down my nose bridge. A quick glance at the mirror confirmed that she had already done my eyes with a light simmering faint golden cream eyeshadow and black eyeliner on the top lid in a pin-up fashion. The white liner on the bottom lid and the multiple coats of mascara made my already huge eyes look even bigger and for a second contemplated asking her to remove the white at least. But arguing with Leah on makeup was pointless.

"I'm just a bit nervous. It _is_ the first date I've ever had with _anyone_ you know" I rolled my eyes before sighing again. "And it's _Jake_, AKA the love of my life, literally"

"Hey, just relax. And if he does _anything_ to hurt you, just give me a call alright?" she winked playfully and held up two tubes of lipstick. "Nude or red?"

"Um… nude?" I offered, staring at them nervously.

"Wrong answer" she giggled and threw the nude lipstick back in the bag.

"What's the point in asking me if you've already made up your mind?" I frowned and opened my mouth slightly so she could apply it.

"It's sort of a test, I guess. My mom used to do it to me. If you pick nude; you're shy and a bit intimidated by the idea of anyone seeing you with makeup on. Pick red; you're a strong, independent woman with confidence. At least you appear to be with it on" she joked light-heartedly. "But really, I'm _so_ glad our skin tone is the same; it makes borrowing things from you much easier. And we're the same size, so that's another pro"

"Like real sisters" I rolled my eyes sarcastically.

"Technically, since Paul and Jacob are pack _brothers_, that would make us two sisters!" she finished and went in my closet.

"But that would also make us sisters to Emily and Kim" I yelled after her, feeling smug when I saw her shudder.

"Do _not_ remind me of that. But then again, all families have their imperfections" she reached up on the shelf above the racks and pulled out the box that contained my purses. "It makes sense, sort of. That family was so boring we just _had_ to be included just so nobody would die of boredom or from overexposure to cuddling and PDA"

"I _love_ your sense of mind, but as for the PDA, we're almost as bad as them" I shook my head. "What are you looking for, anyway?"

"Your black clutch; where the hell is it?" she growled, throwing the box on the floor and going through all the others. "What's this-OUCH?!"

I barely had time to register her pained exclamation before the shelf came tumbling down with all the boxes spilling their contents on the floor. A small floral printed sac-voyage slipped through and out of the closet. At the sight of it, time seemed to freeze. Swallowing hard, I picked it up and set it on the mattress next to me while Leah's apologies in the background created a buzzing sort of noise. The little lock opened easily and I lifted the lid carefully. Inside the small cube shaped bag was an old notebook that used to be my diary, with a dried up red rose in it; my first real Valentine's Day gift from Jake as his best friend when we were thirteen. A stack of photographs were beneath it, tied together with brown paper wire. Putting the notebook aside, I picked up the photographs and slowly went through them.

It was of Jacob and I mostly, with Paul, Leah, Embry, Seth and Quil thrown in some group ones. But it was always me and him, in every single one. My mom was hell-bent over snapping as many photos of us as she could when we were younger; she said that we would want to remember our childhood one day and what was better than photos to do so? I went through the different stages of our friendship; when we were little and used to make mud pies together, draw with crayons and play in the school playground. Then going on until a couple of months back; the last photo of the two of us was at the end of last year's school year, when Jake still had his hair down to his waist, when Jake was a lanky tall kid with an extraordinary million watt smile. He had his arms around me from behind; holding me down so mom could take a photo of us. My head was turned upwards, looking up at him with a grin as he looked down at me, smiling.

"Is that you and Jake?" Leah's voice had gone soft.

"Last year" I muttered, tracing the picture with my fingertips. "Before everything went to hell, before we started dating; when it was just me and him"

"Things will work out sweetie" she put her arm around me gently. "And don't forget that it's still you and him. Some things might've changed, but you still have that connection between you. Besides, everything gets better in the end. If it's not better than it's not the end"

"Who said that?" I chuckled, tucking all the photos back together and back in the bag.

"One of the many, many wise men and women of previous centuries!" she said dramatically. "You spaced out for a couple of moments, there. I called your name countless times"

"Sorry, Leah. I get like that sometimes" I smiled at her apologetically. "It's just… it's still a bit much, you know? I know; I forgave him already because I just _need_ him that much in my life now. We're taking it slow and I just feel like I can fly. But, you know, nothing is going to take away those long months and erase everything. I'll still be insecure about it, deep down below. And I feel like I'm fragile, as if the softest gust of wind can tear me apart. And it's crazy that he makes me forget about all my insecurities just by smiling at me like I'm the prize, instead of the outrageously lucky winner"

"Hey, now, that's the part where I just _have_ to cut you off" her hand on my chin made me turn around and look at her. "I'm not saying this because you're my boyfriend's little sister nor because you're my best friend; I'm saying it because I know it's true. You're a gorgeous, smart girl with a crazy side that everyone just loves. And I _know_ you'd be a prize for anyone, someone worth fighting for. And Jake was pretty darn stupid _not_ to have noticed it the first second he realized you were finally a grown young woman. As for insecurities; you can't help them. God knows I've tried stop having them. They don't go away and that's why we need them to remind us that, at least to them, we're everything. Let's admit it, we both have some darn good looking guys and I could just tear out the eyes of the bitch that's ever going to try and take him away from me. And so could you"

"In all honesty; I couldn't, really. Rip her arms off maybe, if she tried to lay a hand on him" I nudged her with my shoulder. "Thank you for being a friend, Leah"

"Don't mention it, kiddo" she winked.

I sighed and gazed at the mess of boxes and scarves and whatever other accessory I had stocked in them. They all lay scattered across the floor in my small closet and I had to pick them up and sort through them. But my outmost favorite accessory of all times was my gorgeous electroacoustic guitar. I picked her up gently before crossing my legs on the bed. Yes, with a tight skirt, that was nearly impossible but I somehow made it work. I started strumming a tune while Leah sat on the floor and started going through all the junk. She tossed some of them in a black trash bag, reserved for what we would through, and the rest she started sorting through the boxes which she had labeled with one of my markers.

Slowly sinking back into my own bubble, leaving all other sounds but the soft melody of the guitar in the background as a mere hum, I started singing softly to myself. _  
>And the cynics were outraged<br>Screaming "This is absurd"  
>Cause for a moment a band of thieves<br>In ripped up jeans got to rule the world  
>Long live the walls we crashed through<br>All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you  
>I was screaming long live all the magic we made<br>And bring on all the pretenders; I'm not afraid  
>Long live all the mountains we moved<br>I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you  
>I was screaming long live that look on your face<br>And bring on all the pretenders  
>One day we will be remembered<br>Hold on to spinning around  
>Confetti falls to the ground<br>May these memories break our fall  
>Will you take a moment, promise me this<br>That you'll stand by me forever  
>But if God forbid fate should step in<br>And force us into a goodbye  
>If you have children some day<br>When the point to the pictures  
>Please tell them my name<br>Tell them how the crowds went wild  
>Tell them how I hope they shine<em>

"End of year talent show, when you were fourteen" Leah exclaimed suddenly, cutting me off. "I knew it sounded familiar! You and Jake danced it at the prom didn't you? I had lent you that yellow dress. And it was the first time we managed to get Jake in a dress shirt. And that night, we barely saw the two of you; you were dancing the whole night long! I thought… I had almost forgotten all about that song but you played it _for the talent show_. The song you two danced on your very first real prom experience! Oh, how romantic!"

It was so surreal to actually see _Leah Clearwater_ squealing and cooing like a twelve year old girl, so odd, so out of the blue, that I started laughing uncontrollably. Minutes later, she joined in and we rolled around on the floor, cracking up giggling.

I remembered the night she was referring to, as well as the talent show. The prom usually wasn't a big deal for us; we went as a group, dressed in jeans and clean t-shirts. But that night we had insisted on starting to behave more like teenagers instead of kids. So I had convinced Leah to lend me one of her pretty gowns, the yellow one with the black sash around the waist and somehow Paul had wrestled Jake into a cream colored dress shirt. Jake had told me that if I had gotten him to look like a clown, then I wouldn't leave his side all night. So he dragged me to the dance floor, despite all my protests and started dancing with me. _Long Live_ by Taylor Swift came on at the end of the evening, when our prom queen had requested this specific song for her and her boyfriend, who had been crowned prom king, to dance. Jake had pulled me tighter against him and my head rested right on his shoulders as we moved slowly to the music. I think it was after that night that I started to realize my true feelings for my best friend.

In the talent show, at the end of the year, I almost backed out of it. Even though I had spent hours practicing the song on my guitar and had gotten Embry and Paul to play the drums and bass, even though we had spent days in our garage playing _this particular song_, one look at the gathered crowd had me ducking for cover. Had it not been for Jake in the backstage with me, I might've actually fled. But he had gripped my shoulders firmly, stared at me right in the eyes and said that I could do it because I was _that _talented. And I did. I got up there and I sang my fourteen year old butt off. I still remember the other students dancing along to it and, even though I didn't win in the end, I had a blast. And the best part? Jake had been watching me from the backstage all the while I was up on that stage. He had it on tape, too, just so I would never forget it.

"Um, girls, I really don't mean to interrupt this lovely bonding moment between the two of you, but Jake is downstairs, waiting for Sophie" Paul's amused voice came from my bedroom's doorway and his words were enough to sober me up.

I stood up and straightened my clothes and hair, thankful I hadn't smudged any of my makeup. I grabbed my black clutch that was sitting on the floor, a few feet away from me, and threw in my phone, keys, iPod, wallet and the lipstick Leah handed me.

"Alright. Let's get this show going" I winked at Leah and skipped down the stairs cheerfully.

_Long live the walls we crashed through  
>All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you<br>I was screaming long live all the magic we made  
>And bring on all the pretenders; I'm not afraid<br>Long live all the mountains we moved  
>I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you<br>I was screaming long live that look on your face  
>And bring on all the pretenders<br>One day we will be remembered_


	6. Chapter 6

"I _can't _dance" I argued one last time, hoping that my pleading eyes would make him change his mind.

They didn't. Handsome as ever in a white button down dress shirt and faded blue jeans, he grinned as he pulled me in. Sighing softly in defeat, I let him lead me through the soft jazz song. I was slightly surprised and more than slightly impressed that he actually knew how to dance.

The date had been amazing so far. I never would've thought him to be this romantic. He had taken us just outside Port Angeles where they were holding an outdoor cinema where they were playing relatively modern romantic movies. He had timed it so that we arrived just as when _Titanic _started. The car was parked closely to the "screen", so we were able to really enjoy it. I cried at the same part, always, where Leonardo freezes as Jack and he tells her that she has to let him go. And then he slips into the ocean and she's left alone. Cue the tears. Jake was more than happy to provide a shoulder to cry on and, despite the movie being really touching, I couldn't help a little giggle through my tears. His answering smile had been as bright as the Hollywood sign at night.

Then, he had brought me to this cozy little restaurant, not far from the field where the outdoor cinema was. It looked perfect for a first date; there were small booths with comfortable leather seats and it was sparkling clean. It had a 50's feel to it, with the waitresses that wore skates and stark white aprons over their orange knee-length short-sleeved dresses and their sparkling white smiles. The lights were slightly dimmed, giving the entire room a warm golden glow. It was dark enough to allow an illusion of privacy, but light enough for us to be able to see clearly. The food was excellent; three dishes of chicken Caesar salad, burger and fries and two spoonful of homemade strawberry ice cream over a piece of New York cheesecake. At first it seemed unusual, but I later on came to love the taste of it. Conversation flowed easily between us and I thought of it as a sort of catching up. We avoided all difficult subjects easily; another surprise of the night. I didn't feel the need to bring it up. It was supposed to be over anyway.

I hadn't given much thought to the small dance floor or the band playing live until Jake had pulled me gently to my feet and steered me towards that direction. He was extremely sweet, insisting and pulling me along. He promised he wouldn't let me trip. How could I resist that smile? I had proven countless times already that I couldn't deny him anything anymore. All my inhibitions were gone by now, as were my insecurities. It was easier than I thought to let go and enjoy myself. The song the band was playing was soft and slow, a bit melancholic at first, but then they changed it smoothly. Jake did me a twirl and, despite my earliest fear that I would trip over my heels, I managed to spin around quite gracefully as we fell into step easily.

It was all so perfect; magical almost. He whispered the words as we twirled around in the dance floor amongst the few other couples that were also out tonight, enjoying their night together. The music faded slightly, turning slower, calmer… romantic. He turned me around so that my back was against his front. Our bodies seemed to fit well together; like two pieces of a puzzle. Like an out of body experience, I leaned my head back against his chest and allowed myself to just _feel_. Time seemed to freeze around us. I could easily imagine that we could stay in this moment forever.

I hadn't even been able to finish my thought when we'd been snapped out of our happy bubble. The voice sounded shrill like a pack of mice screeching. And it was calling out to Jacob. I turned my head around slowly as Jacob's entire posture stiffened and his hands begun to vibrate ever so slightly. She was all cream and peaches, in appearance. A mane of long wavy mahogany hair was piled on her head in a messy, yet chic, bun, held in place with three thin white bands and multiple bobby pins with diamond heads. She had makeup on; something I saw for the first time on Isabella Swan. I had known her to be a pretty tomboy, but looking at her now, dressed in a pretty peach-colored cocktail dress with her eyes looking wide and sparkly, I felt like Darth Vader next to Malibu Barbie. My heart clenched as I glanced up at Jacob warily, expecting him to be staring at her with his mouth hanging open. But his head was downcast, his dark eyes searching for mine. He took a deep breath when he caught my gaze, as if to steady himself and _then_ looked up. Even then, though, he refused to look at Bella. Instead, he focused his eyes to her company, which I hadn't noticed until then.

She was obviously not alone. The man standing next to her was painstakingly handsome, with his flawless porcelain white skin, bronze messy hair and beautifully chiseled boyish features. He, too, was dressed impeccably, in beige slacks and a white button down to match her appearance. The pair behind him was one I'd never seen before, but I figured they would be from the Cullen family. A tiny fairy-like girl with short spiky black hair and the hugest golden eyes I'd ever seen, dressed in a playful colorful mini tight dress with matching black heels, next to a cowboy-looking guy with long wavy honey-colored hair and a wary expression on his face.

Bella started to make her way towards us, dragging Edward along, holding onto his arm. She put a great effort in _not_ stumbling in the white heels she wore and I felt a hint of vindictive joy that at least I could manage to look beautiful _and_ graceful in heels and she only looked beautiful. Grace was never her strong point.

"Jake" her voice was barely above a breathy whisper when she finally reached us. "We were on our way home when I saw your car and thought to stop and say hi. And you must be Sophie. I've heard a great lot about you"

The disdainful look in her eyes didn't get past me as she intended it to. Her eyes scanned my appearance and something on the look she got when she was done made me feel more insecure than ever, as if she saw me and found me beyond lacking for Jacob. In girl code; that look meant that she found me unworthy of him and she was absolutely sure that she would get him back the minute she called. She was obviously possessive of him, even though she had someone else on her arm. Poor Edward.

"I'm sure" I replied, tight-lipped and blank-faced. "As I've heard so much about you. I just wish I could say it was a pleasure to meet the infamous Isabella Swan"

"Just Bella, please" she smiled, seemingly oblivious to my cold and detached tone. "I've wanted to meet you actually since I heard about you and Jake. Who would've thought he'd get with you, right?"

"_Excuse me?_" the snarl was barely kept out of my voice.

At that moment I just wished for Leah's ability to land a punch straight into anyone's jaw and break it. Because I couldn't wait to see that fragile pretty face of hers all marred with bruises _I _had caused. I didn't even know how she could trigger me so bad; I was never a particularly violent or angry person, but there was something to her that brought out the jealous and brutal side of me.

"Ease up, Bella" Jake spoke up, his fingers entwining with me tightly and giving my hand a light squeeze. "We were on our way out anyway"

"Wait, Jacob" Edward's voice was curt yet pleading and a teeny tiny twitch of his hand gave me the impression I wasn't the only one who had caught up to Bella's mood. "We've been meaning to talk to you and the pack. If you could meet us at the clearing at midnight… there are many things we have to talk to you about and one thing to ask you for. If you would please pass the message along…"

"I'm out on a date. I'll see what I can do about that, _afterwards_" Jacob's tone was scathing as he steered me around and towards the exit. "Enjoy your time out"

I thought I'd heard him whispering something close to "And learn to keep her at bay". His arms were shaking. I could feel it when he placed his hand on the small of my back as he was leading me outside. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that he was pissed off; in fact I was surprised he hadn't blown up yet. He seemed to be holding his breath as well and gasped for air as soon as we were outside. I thought I heard him mumble something about the stench but otherwise I couldn't understand what he was saying. He opened the door to his truck and helped me as usual, before jogging to the other side. He left the place as if the devil was on our heels. I watched the speedometer carefully, but he never went over the speed limit, no matter how much he obviously wanted to get out of there.

"Is there something I'm supposed to know?" I asked him, deciding to break the tension-filled silence in the cabin of the truck.

"Bella had been calling the past few days but I haven't picked up. I always told Billy to tell her I was out. Apparently he slipped and told her I imprinted. She said she wanted to meet you, but I never expected us to bump into them, _here_ of all places" he swore under his breath as we hit a red light. "And now apparently the Cullens have a _favor _to ask"

There was this low rumbling sound that started out and for a second I thought it was the engine. One look at his shaking hands gripping the steering wheel until the tips went white was enough to confirm that he was _growling_.

"Jake calm down" I said gently, placing my hand on his thigh. "I'm sure whatever it is, you can sort it out at _midnight_, when you'll meet the Cullens"

"Bella will be there" he snapped. "And she'll try to talk to me and I'm done with her stubbornness. She can't get the hint and back off and she's just on to try and cause me more trouble"

It took me a few minutes to figure out that he really meant she was causing him trouble with _me_. In my jealousy-infused haze, I hadn't realized that he probably got the message that I would dump him the minute he even looked her way. That wasn't my problem, though and I should've thought about the fact that maybe he actually really saw her as a friend now. He was with me and I knew that deep down inside. And there was the thing that he probably enjoyed her company. Maybe he still saw her in that friendly manner…

"Maybe you _should_ talk to her" I finally told him when we were on my street.

If I hadn't been wearing my seatbelt I might've just flown right through the glass. I had to take a minute to calm down the erratic beating of my heart. He was frozen into place, his hands still gripping the steering wheel and his foot firmly planted on the brakes. His face was a mask of shock mixed with uncertainty, probably about my mental sanity. I sighed and then started to explain.

"I never meant to cut you off her, as long as she's just a friend. I'm still insecure about us and I guess seeing her now has made me a bit more insecure and her attitude don't help at all, but I guess that you guys need to talk some things out. And…" I puffed out a breath, searching for the right thing to say. "I guess, I'm saying that you shouldn't avoid her on my account. You know, she's in a relationship and I guess you and I are in a relationship, so there's no reason to be afraid that either of you will cheat. I'm sure Edward has had this talk with her, so I guess I'll be as mature as he is and just… not be all that jealous and hateful when you hang out with her"

I felt a headache build up and I don't know if he understood what I had just told him. Feeling like I needed air, I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of the car, inhaling deeply the chilly night breeze. Alright, let me take it from the start. Jake _thought _he was in love with her, he said so himself. But in the end he realized he's in love with _me_ which he also said despite how gorgeous Bella actually looks in her own fragile way. _But_ Bella is in a relationship with Edward and she loves him a lot if she could take him back again after he left her and she left Jacob in return. And I guess that now Jacob has imprinted on me, there's no reason for me to be jealous of Bella because I'm his soul mate, still according to Jacob. But in the end how much did I trust the two of them together?

_Not at all_, whispered a small voice in the back of my mind. _But you don't want him to stress over getting you upset anymore because he might actually miss her. You want him to be happy, just as much as you want yourself to be happy. So you decided to let him be friends with Bella no matter how jealous that gets you because you're insecure about yourself and at most days you can't really believe that this is happening because you deem yourself too plain to be in Jacob's company. And in the end, why would he choose you? I mean, you're pretty and all, but Bella is simply beautiful and she has to have something special to have Edward Cullen, a vampire who has probably lived way more than the average human and has probably seen hundreds and hundreds of women and yet chose Bella. So she must be something special…_

Feeling hopelessness creep up to me, I took a deep breath and leaned back against the car. It was parked right in the middle of the path leading to my house, just a few feet away. I could already see it. I closed my eyes for a second, trying to gather my wits and stop that small voice that was still whispering in my head. It was just my insecurities, I guess, but I had thought about all that countless times. What if it was all true? What if all my fears were actually valid?

I jumped out of my skin when I opened my eyes and found Jacob's staring straight back into mine. I swallowed thickly and returned the stare. His eyebrows knit together as he leaned in closer. He stopped when his nose was barely an inch away from mine, never breaking eye-contact.

"Are you a hundred percent sure that's what you want me to do?" he drawled quietly, his hand resting on my hip. "You know I'd do anything for you, as long as it made you happy"

"Maybe that's the problem here. What about _your_ happiness Jake?" I whispered, casting my gaze downwards. "Don't you miss her? I mean, you guys were friends. And your dad is friends with her dad… it must be a bit difficult"

"It doesn't matter. She doesn't matter. I'm happy. Like, tonight. I'm happy just being close to you and I don't need anything else. If you want me to talk to Bella and sort things out with her, then I will. But I won't do it if that's not what you _really_ want me to do. I can live without Bella. I _can't_ live without you"

"I feel mean" I admitted quietly. "I'm _so_ selfish. Is it bad that I just want to lock you up in my room so that Bella and any other girl won't be able to get to you?"

He chuckled and leaned in, nuzzling his nose in the crook of my neck. Feeling shy, I kissed his cheek lightly and pulled back slightly.

"I'll leave this on you. Do what _you_ want. And I promise I won't make a deal about it. Talk to her, don't talk to her; whatever you decide" I said. "I'll have to trust you on this"

"I want you to be there, then. Or else I won't talk to her tonight. I'll have to wait until you're there for this" he smiled softly. "I'm scared I might lose it. I want you there to keep calm"

"Tell Sam about tonight. Then, come spend the remaining time home with me and then I'll come with you. If I don't fall asleep, that is" his smile was simply contagious; I'd have to watch that in the future. "And I can't promise I won't punch her in the face if she tries to get just a bit closer than she's allowed"

"And how close is that?" his smirk was teasing.

"Close enough to touch you with a 100 foot pole" I smiled.

He helped me back in the car before pulling his phone out and dialing Sam's number. After a few curt words, he got back in the car and drove the small way to my house. Within half an hour, Paul and Leah were back in our living room with us. Leah seemed stressed out and Paul looked a bit agitated, but they were holding hands so I couldn't tell if they had a fight or if it was because of what the Cullens had to say tonight.

"Soph, how about we go get your guitar?" Leah's voice sounded strained as she looked at me through huge pleading eyes.

"Um, yeah, sure" I was quick to get up and head for my room.

We hadn't even gotten inside when Leah hit the wall. Terrified, I rushed to her as she slid down the wall and started crying. I asked repeatedly what was wrong, but I got no reply, so I just held her there until all her tears were gone. It took her a good half an hour and if the pounding on my door was any indication, Paul had heard her and was beyond worried. When Leah had calmed down enough, she told me to tell him to go downstairs and that we'd join them in a bit.

"What the _hell_ is going on?" he demanded as soon as I cracked the door open. "Is she alright? Is she hurt?"

"Paul, chill. Go downstairs and we'll be down in a second. Leah's orders" I cut him off before he had a chance to protest. "Really. Give me a chance to find out what's wrong and we'll be with you in a bit. Now; go downstairs and _wait_"

With a grumble, he and Jacob walked downstairs. He gave me a worried look and I smiled faintly in return. He'd have to wait, too. I closed the door gently and sat down on the floor next to a distraught-looking Leah. Her eyes were red-trimmed and puffy. I handed her a tissue and she cleaned her runny mascara quickly.

"Ready to talk?" I whispered softly, smoothing her hair back. "What's wrong? Did you and Paul have a fight?"

"No, no… you're brother's been nothing but good to me. It's just… what do the Cullens want to talk to them about? I don't feel so good about letting him march up in a field to meet them. They're up to something and I don't trust them. What am I going to if something happens to him, Soph? If they have to ask the pack for help, it means something serious is going on and I think… I think it has something to do with the killings in Seattle"

"What makes you think that? They say it's a serial killer" I frowned and looked back at the door worriedly, the image of a wounded Jacob springing to the forefront of my mind.

"Sam doesn't think so. We were just there when Jacob called. And he has this theory… it's just a theory but it makes so much sense, it's almost painful. What if it's not a serial killer but _vampires_ doing this? What if they decided they're tired of the city and want to move? What if they're actually coming our way and Alice saw it?"

"Back up a second. Who's Alice?" I asked, sitting up straight.

"Alice is one of the Cullens. She's a tiny little thing. She looks like a pixie" the image of the tiny vampire in the colorful dress snapped to mind. "She has this 'gift'. According to Sam she can see the future. Like, she gets visions. She might have… she might have seen those vampires heading our way and they can't let them blow their cover and expose their existence to humans"

"So they want the pack to help take them down" I concluded her thought for her. "Oh, my God"

"I'm almost ninety nine percent sure that I might be right. And the guys don't have any choice. They'll fight to protect us" her voice sounded hollow as her eyes glazed over. "I'm so worried and now I feel awful because I've made you worry too"

"I'm glad you told me. This way, I can have some time to calm down before we go down there. Being stressed will only add to their stress and we can't have them panicking. Not now. You know what? I think I'm going with Jacob to the meeting tonight" I nodded to myself. "I need to change"

"I did your clothes while you were away" she called as I disappeared in the closet. "Sweats, t-shirts and jumpers are in the upper shelves and your hoodies are hanging in the rack"

I pulled out a pair of black tights and an oversized black hoodie. I threw my clothes in the laundry basket and placed the heels in the shoe rack next to the shelves. I would have to put on my hiking boots for tonight; I didn't have any other black shoes except my ballet flats and they wouldn't do. I slipped them on quickly before removing my makeup and throwing my hair up in a messy bun.

"Come on, let's get downstairs" I said and grabbed my guitar. "Try not to look so worried. Paul can actually understand when you're stressed, so… relax"

I took a deep breath before leaving my room. It was one thing to say and another to do so.


End file.
